Gratitude is one of many positive emotions. It's about focusing on what's good in our lives and being thankful for the things we have. Gratitude is pausing to notice and appreciate the things that we often take for granted, like having a place to live, food to eat, clean water, family, and friends.
In the midst of grieving you witness a sadness so deep that any positives in your life become blurred. It is hard to realize the great things around you while you are amongst the darkest of your days. My father passed and it took me years to learn to appreciate the life I have. Here are three things I was able to learn to be grateful for through my grieving process.
Learn to be grateful for what remains in your life after loss, and try not to only wallow in what was taken from it. I’ve learned to be grateful for everything my father taught me, from life lessons all the way down to the importance of animals. Just having my dad in my life enriched it and he taught me so much so young that I’ve always been more mature, more knowledgeable, more prepared than my peers. I was never babied or caudled, he gave me life experiences through his stories and his guidance, about things I wasn’t to face for years to come. The want I have to teach his lessons to others and children of my own brings purpose to my life and to want to lead a life of good.
I’ve learned to be grateful for my story. I know it might sound hard to do when you are so close to it but as time goes on you’ll learn to appreciate the struggle through grief. Neuroscientists have found that struggle is helpful for growth and connectivity and if we are not struggling, we are not learning. This journey through grief makes you stronger and is a personal experience that only you will ever have. This is a journey all your own and will build you into a fluid, diverse character that doesn’t burst at the first sight of negativity. You’ve endured so much that your pain tolerance is extremely high. You are not a quitter, anyone that is living with loss will never walk away from things just because they didn't go your way the first time. Im grateful for the endurance this process taught me and the story I have now to share.
When you lose someone you learn to hold on to everyone else extremely tight. Through loss, I learned to wake up and be grateful that I didn't get a call that a family member is dead. You hold on extra tight to the people you love and learn to prioritize time with them because a huge lesson loss taught me that time is of the essence. I'm particularly grateful for my mother who was there for me and provided for our family, she ensured that my life wasn't turned completely upside down that morning my father died. Take time to tell your loved ones you love them and you're grateful for them.
Through grief we begin to question “Why Me” “Why my family”, “Why did I have to lose”, but if we learn to practice gratitude for all we have gained and all that remains in our lives we can bear through the unbearable challenges of grief. Gratitude can be one of the most powerful grief healing tools we have and by practicing it a little bit at a time each day we can endure this together.
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